Tales of the Rampant Coyote

Adventures in Indie Gaming!

How does it feel to get my butt kicked by an 11-year old girl?

Posted by Rampant Coyote on April 21, 2015

How does it feel to get my butt kicked by an 11-year-old girl? Hmmm… Not gonna lie. It doesn’t feel awesome. Although I have known for a while that she’s better than me.

I assumed (correctly?) that the leaderboards were platform-specific, and also assumed (incorrectly?) that this terror of less than a dozen years was playing on a console. But no! It seems her depredations are now on the PC, and her conquests include my leaderboard positions, humble though they may be.

I vaguely recall being #1 in the leaderboards in Rocksmith 2014 for rhythm guitar for Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It.” Maybe I was only in the top three. I’m not #1 in very many songs, so you’d think I’d have that list memorized, but that’s the thing about leaderboards… they change. I haven’t been paying attention, and for the last four months I’ve been focusing on lead guitar more. Whatever the case, I’ve been bumped down to #5. And one of the people doing the bumping last month was Audrey (“Audrey123Talks”), an 11-year-old Japanese girl.



She even recorded the event. Obviously, she specifically wanted to humiliate me with her own solid 100% performance and better timing.

I became aware that this pitiless pre-teen was dominating the leaderboards in my efforts to break into the top ten on this song on the Lead part (which is almost identical but for a different solo). I’ve only cracked position 17, and I saw her handle, sixteen names above me. Number one : Audrey123talks. Crap.

I hope she does not discover the rhythm part for Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. I’m holding on to the #1 position only because of it’s relative obscurity (as Rocksmith 1 DLC)… and because people haven’t realized that the rhythm part on that song is way more fun than the lead. That’s not always… or even usually… the case, but it is for that one. I’m not at 100% accuracy on that one, so I know fer sher that my score is pretty beatable.

Based on the video (and my limited experience), I’d say this also points out the weaknesses of Rocksmith-only training (which is what I believe she’s doing… thus becoming one of Ubisoft’s favorite success stories). She’s going to have to have some training and practice to correct some of the habits that don’t get corrected / prevented by the game, but it’s clear she has learned her way around the fretboard pretty well.

Better than me, at least…

Sigh. Yeah. She kicked my butt. She earned it.

Filed Under: Guitar Games - Comments: 3 Comments to Read

  • McTeddy said,

    No Jay, you didn’t just get beat by a kid.

    You got beat my kid while she was being distracted by her little sister. 🙂

    Now, I’m going to walk away hiding the fact that I wouldn’t even be on that leaderboard with my sorry skills. Definately not admitting that.

  • Rampant Coyote said,

    You are totally right, of course.


    How does that song go? “She’s my humble pie. Cold splash of water / in my eye. Strummin’ on the six-string. Strummin’ on the bass. Strummin’ with a pool noodle / in her face!”

  • McTeddy said,

    Yup, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly how it goes. Although might explain why I never get a high score…

    Anyways, It’s amazing what kids can do when they get started young. I didn’t start trying to do anything like this until I got older and boooooy do I regret that.