Why Do We Bother?
Posted by Rampant Coyote on April 13, 2016
Sometimes, the whole authoring gig & indie game dev thing gets me down. The hours are long. I’m rarely current on any television shows. My list of unplayed games and unread books grows. I get stressed. There’s a crapload of work. We have deadlines to meet which are rarely convenient. I’m not getting rich or famous from doing it. I face plenty of rejection and criticism. I see how far I am from being great at this stuff, and it’s daunting.
It can get rough and demoralizing. Why do we bother creating stuff in the first place?
But then, I have the good nights. A manuscript is completed. A level is done. A new game system is completed. I get positive feedback on a beta. I get an acceptance or… a game release. My stuff actually *entertains* someone. I can see myself getting better at what I do. These kinds of experiences are help make everything else feel worthwhile.
There are other things, too. A positive review. An award. A halfway decent check or deposit. These definitely big motivators. But not enough to keep me going if I didn’t love it.
Ultimately, in spite of the times where you just have to knuckle down and get the less sexy stuff done, it really comes down to having the creative desire in your blood. When it just comes down to the fact that you are taking these worlds in your head (or heads, if you are collaborating) and converting them into a form that can be shared with others. And then once you start going down that path, it’s hard to stop.
Ultimately, that’s why I’m still an “indie evangelist.” It’s not that I love the flood of crappy entertainment clogging the pipelines. Or that every indie work is some kind of special snowflakey gem. It’s just that I love living in a world where anybody who has a passion for this kind of thing can make it their gig. They don’t need anyone’s permission but their own.
Filed Under: General, Indie Evangelism - Comments: 2 Comments to Read
Modran said,
I think there’s not just a creative desire… It can get to a “need” to build, to create, to do something from the images in our brains.
I know that I feel this building up over time, and if I can’t funnel it somewhere, I… I don’t know, I get antsy. And I feel as if something is wasting away.
Ayrik said,
I’m totally with you and Modran. It’s definitely a “need” for me most of the time. As creators a lot of the time we are just not happy unless we’re building something….and for me it’s always something big I’ll never finish….but at least I’m creating something!