My Hopes In the Coming Zombie Apocalypse

Posted by Rampant Coyote on April 28, 2010

If and when the zombie apocalypse happens, I hope it consists of slow zombies (like in Shaun of the Dead), and not the fast zombies like in Left 4 Dead. The reason being is that I’m not as fast as I used to be, and so if zombies are slow and shuffling, it’ll be easier to keep up with my horde as we’re cornering prey. And, as a bonus, victims will use up all their ammo on the younger and more athletic zombies who are SLIGHTLY faster than me, and be down to nothing but melee weapons by the time I get to dinner.

Just sayin’.

Filed Under: General - Comments: 8 Comments to Read

Califer said,

I was hoping for slow zombies as well, though for different reasons…
Xenovore said,

LOL! I see you’ve resigned yourself to your fate already. =)
Rampant Coyote said,

I’ve rolled enough 1s on the ol’ D20 to know how my luck runs. What are the odds of me being the 1 in 1,000 that isn’t infected within the first 72 hours?
(name here) said,

Depends. You’d have no hope against the omnipotent might of zombies unless you stay near power-reducing TV cameras. Then you could last a while.
John Murphy said,

Yeah, that’s why I take such good care of my teeth, too.
Rampant Coyote said,

@John – your response had me COL’ing (Cackling Out Loud)…
LateWhiteRabbit said,

Well, it all depends really.

My brother and I often perform a thought experiment in regards to zombies that goes like this:

If you had to be in a zombie apocalypse, would you rather it be slow zombies, and you were susceptible to the zombie infection or virus?

Or would you rather it be fast zombies, but you were totally immune to becoming a zombie yourself?

It makes for interesting discussions. Also, it isn’t as silly as it seems at face value, because it seems that several stories and games with fast zombies (like Left 4 Dead), do make their survivors immune to said cause of zombie.

P.S. As a total geek, I have to say, if the zombies in your particular apocalypse are caused by a virus or infection (which is really the only way something like this could ever even remotely happen in real life) then using melee weapons to send droplets of their blood air born and spraying everywhere is a great way to infect yourself. Just saying. That always drives me crazy.
Xenovore said,

@ LateWhiteRabbit: What drives you crazy? There are plenty of real life precedents for immunity. Hell, maybe the survivors DID get sick, but while everyone else was going full-on zombie, the survivors just thought they had a case of the flu, took some Nyquil and felt fine the next day. =P

After all, not everyone died of the plague. And, some just end up as carriers of their particular disease, with absolutely no symptoms…