Thursday, October 23, 2008
Important Safety Tip for Dimensional Gates: DON'T!
My wife and I watched (and mostly enjoyed, until the really dark ending) Stephen King's The Mist Tuesday night. I was so very pleased to see Half-Life get the big-screen treatment...
...oh, wait, that wasn't Half-Life? Ah, right, no headcrabs. They did have the Aliens thing going on in it, though instead of one big alien it was about a gazillion alien spiders. My wife, the arachnophobe, REALLY enjoyed that segment.
But having watched this movie, and played Doom, and Half-Life, and countless other games, I have come to an important realization.
If you, or anybody you love, is experiencing the desire to build a small portal into another dimension, through military or civilian technology, seek professional help immediately. Remember - friends don't let friends destroy the whole freaking world by opening up a gateway into a hell dimension. It inevitably turns out bad, and lots of people you care about become monster chow. Your friends will thank you for it later, when they realize their hometown is no longer in danger of becoming the next Ravenholm.
Nobody believes that they can destroy the entire human race with only one dimensional gateway. But as has been demonstrated in so many cases, it only takes one experiment to destroy the world. One little experiment, and the next thing you know you are trying to explain to your sister how it wasn't your fault, you were just a lab assistant on your first day on the job, but she's not listening because there's an alien crab-thingy where her head used to be that's merely using her spinal cord as a steering wheel to take her corpse on a joyride.
Just don't do it, folks! Think about the children!
- posted by The Rampant Coyote @ 5:07 AM (Permalink)
Comments:
Links to this post:
<< Home
> Nobody believes that they can destroy the entire human race with only one dimensional gateway. But as has been demonstrated in so many cases, it only takes one experiment to destroy the world.
Have you heard of the Large Hadron Collider? It's the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator. Basically, they're speeding up and then colliding particles against each other. The biggest fear amongst pressimist is that it might make black holes. The greatest mind on Earth assures us that this is impossible and that the LHC is very safe.
As we all learned from video games (such as Half-Life), is that experiments like this can destroy the world. What's scary is that Gordon Freeman's experiment involves a particle accelerator (or something like that. I never seen Freeman do any scientific work).
Thankfully, the Internets has realized the danger: http://blog.reddit.com/2008/09/crowbar-headcrab-and-half-life-strategy.html
The world is saved!
Have you heard of the Large Hadron Collider? It's the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator. Basically, they're speeding up and then colliding particles against each other. The biggest fear amongst pressimist is that it might make black holes. The greatest mind on Earth assures us that this is impossible and that the LHC is very safe.
As we all learned from video games (such as Half-Life), is that experiments like this can destroy the world. What's scary is that Gordon Freeman's experiment involves a particle accelerator (or something like that. I never seen Freeman do any scientific work).
Thankfully, the Internets has realized the danger: http://blog.reddit.com/2008/09/crowbar-headcrab-and-half-life-strategy.html
The world is saved!
I'm very glad to see that at least SOMEBODY is making provisions for this kind of thing. A lot of people will tell you that it's a zombie apocalypse that we need to be prepared for, but that's just silly. Unless they are corpses animated by headcrabs.
I was struck by the similarity, too. After some wikipedia researching, it looks like the creators of half life based their premise on King's book, which, of course, is what the movie is also based on.
# posted by 
: October 23, 2008 7:49 AM
: October 23, 2008 7:49 AM
Ah, cool. All this time I just thought Half-Life was ripping off (and improving upon) the premise of Doom. They had better sources! Hmm... maybe Doom was influenced by the novella, too?
What interested me was that the story was inspired by just a random thought Stephen King had in a supermarket one day - he imagined a pterodactyl or something flying along the isle, and that provided the seed for the story (and movie).
What interested me was that the story was inspired by just a random thought Stephen King had in a supermarket one day - he imagined a pterodactyl or something flying along the isle, and that provided the seed for the story (and movie).
s_cloudx said: I never seen Freeman do any scientific work
Hey! We've seen Gordon press buttons and plug in power cords with the best of them! Show some respect for that MIT education, damn it!
:P
Hey! We've seen Gordon press buttons and plug in power cords with the best of them! Show some respect for that MIT education, damn it!
:P
Half-Life took more than its premise from King - they tried very hard to make the game's atmosphere close to that of the story. That's just one of the reasons I still think Half-Life is a far better game than the (excellent) Half-Life 2.
# posted by : October 23, 2008 10:36 AM
: October 23, 2008 10:36 AM
I wrote a little story that explains what's on the other side of these dimensional gates, and gets into their frustrations at our regular ham-handed invasions:
Down the Hell Hole
Post a Comment
Down the Hell Hole
Links to this post:
<< Home
